Thursday, September 23, 2010

free pudding, kitchen sinks and a plea to make the world a better place.

free pudding, kitchen sinks and a plea to make the world a better place.

I didn't write it and I can't claim that I thought of it first...so I'll just re-post it and hope you enjoy.

Friday, September 3, 2010

My cashmere scarf

repost from years ago...

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say an uncommon-place thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles...

It's winter in Austin, TX. It's cold and wet. Brrh. We were able to sleep in a bit this morning b/c Jacob had a dr.'s appt. He's doing good. I was glad for the extra seconds since I was up with the tube last night. I had to see if Dr. Grey and McDreamy decided to give it a go. Unfortunately, not, and he and his wifey adopted her maniac dog. I've given up ER for Grey's Anatomy. and...I watched the desperate bitches- which is a terribly lame ass show- whilst the least bit entertaining was the slut and the nun clawing and biting in the middle of the church!

yea, I know. I should be interested in finding more productive things to do with myself. I'm not.

While it's not my style to reveal personal things about myself (that are actually true) today is different.

I spend a lot of time living my life with substantial assurance that what is here today will be here tomorrow and that I can make my decisions based on the fact that a finite number of people will be affected by them and will approve or disaprove of them. If I find myself lost in a memory or conjuring up scenarios for future trysts I have the aptitude to recognize these tarryings and bring myself into the present moment. (Many thanks to Ekhart Tolle.) My point is that I want it all to mean something. In the end. I want to have meant something. I don't want to be a waste of time. Like what Kerouac said in On The Road.

How much do we invest in today while thinking always about tomorrow. Am I living a cautious life now because I have a family? Is it to ensure that I will be in good health when I meet my grandchildren and I have decided that I don't want to hack up a lupus lung on their second grade art project. "Come here, hack hack, let me see that, , cough cough, now, that's nice dear. Oh I'm sorry, let me wipe that off."

As a supposed temporary solution my grandmother was moved into a nursing home last week. I don't know what any of this blog meant...but, I may be a little depressed. I just don't want to get old. I don't want my grandma to be old. I don't go to funerals. I hope that's okay in my family. (Some people don't go to Christmas ;-o ) If I visit her now and we have a good time then things get worse, I'm not going back. Maybe I can bring my video camera. I can record us having a good time. Everything's going to be fine.

Just meet everyone you can every where you go

My life is not dull; it is not encapsulated in a shell of self-imposed isolation; my life lives and breathes; my life exudes from its own pores. I love my life and I love when I am fully present in it.

This evening my tarryings brought me to the Newflower Market. I was in line (naturally) when the person behind me asked me about my purchase, beer, and it led us into a three minute conversation that was so light and pleasant. I completed my purchase, turned to him and outstretched my hand, "My name is Amy," I said. He shook my hand, "Derek," he replied. So easy, so unassuming, so human. I love interaction. I love unabashed friendliness.
And it makes me feel so connected to my true self when I shuck the shackles and talk to a stranger.
It's how I met 7-11 and how I met Nick. Maybe it's not always such a good thing, best 2 out 3? I'll take those odds.

I saw a monkey on my way to work today

It was not your usual run of the mill gorrilla costume either. This person was dressed from head to toe in a monkey costume. He wasn't advertising anything he was just standing on the sidewalk...staring at people driving by. I remember once I saw a gorilla on my way to the grocery store. He was at the Chevron on Riverside and Congress. I think he was trying to scare people because he was on top of a brick post and he was pounding his fists on his chest. Not the monkey though. He was waving at people. Keeping Austin Weird, one monkey at a time! Thanks Monkey Man, you really made my day.


*TaG* 10 things

10 things I have to do in this lifetime

See the Northern Lights

Go to the Galapagos Islands

Volunteer to help save the environment

Visit Mount Athos

Re-learn to play piano and guitar

Learn to play cello

Build the home of my dreams (as seen in Dwell magazine)

Ride a motorcycle across the US

Ski the first tracks at Deer Valley

Take a train ride on the Orient Express

Growth

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically.
We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly.
We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm,
childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us
backward, forward, or fix us in the present.
We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
-Anaïs Nin

A present for me?

Aw, guess what!....while at work today I got a visit from B. She was picking up some items left at the church from Pascha. She let me know it was a pick-up and a drop-off visit. Her basket was full and heavy so I helped her get it into her car. She walked around to the passenger side and said "Let's see what the angels have brought us today." She retrieved an envelope from her bag and handed it to me. Written on the front of the envelope was, To "our" Amy. I asked, "A present for me?" "For our Amy whom without we would not want to do. " She replied. AWESOME!

I brought the card inside to my desk and opened it up. It was a rather thick card with a Hoppy Bunny on the cover and $250 inside. And needless to say it was completely unexpected. In fact, there are so many projects, outfits and hairstyles I have put off completely due to my unwillingness to spend money rather than save. Here I have the money and now I can follow through with my wishes. I am completely thankful! With love to Amy from the Parish. Hooray!


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